What follows is a letter I actually wrote to my friend the other week, but I wanted to share it because I could write something like it to so many of my friends. (I explain about it being open in the letter cos I wanted to check they were OK with me posting it publicly, obviously with them anonymous. And they were indeed happy with it.)
Dear Friend,
Dear Friend,
We’ve been mates for a long time – it’s a while now since
we were climbing over bus seats on long school trips. Well, to be fair it was
mainly you climbing over the seats, I probably had my seat belt on. But still,
even though we don’t see each other that much these days, I really do care
about you.
And the day you told me that you thought you believed in
God was one of the happiest days of all seven years of school; and it was good
to see you today, but it was also gutting.
You said that you just don’t think about God much these
days, and that you know you could never be someone who’s really committed to
it. (‘It’, not Him.) You said you could never move it from your rationality
into really believing it, really wanting to do something about it. So you’re
happy to wait, and not bother about it – maybe something bad will happen, maybe
you’ll just get old, or maybe God will speak to you in a dream or something –
but until then you’re happy as you are. And I really love you and so that’s
gutting for me to hear.
I wanted to make this an open letter because, as we said
tonight, it’s not just you – tonnes of people I love are the same. People who
don’t really believe in a God but they’ve never really thought about it for
just the same reasons you’re putting it out of your mind. Or people who grew up
going to church and have never really decided that it’s all rubbish but they’re
just not that bothered with it anymore. In our particular demographic – young
adult, uni-educated, rich, Western – feeling reasonably fulfilled by our lives
and accordingly apathetic towards questions of ultimate meaning is pretty normal.
I wanted to write this because seeing that indifference
in someone I care about is heartbreaking for me – and I know you already know
that, and I feel like you half get why, but let me try and help you empathise
properly. Let me try for a second to help you see what it looks like from my
eyes.
I am convinced that God is actually real, and that he has
revealed himself to us in Jesus Christ, who lived and taught so we could know
what God is like, then died a hellish death that he did not deserve so that we
could be forgiven for the deep wrongness in all our hearts and our lives, and
then genuinely came back from the dead – smashing a hole in death and giving us
properly solid grounds for believing that everything he said was true. I’ve
become convinced that this means that God is real objectively. Not just true
for me, not just a nice idea that helps me make sense of things – actually Real
with a capital R so big that the uni/multiverse fits inside it. This means that
I believe the following things about you:
I think that you
were created by God. Not in a distant, indirect and indifferent
Great-Great-Great-Grandpa kind of way, but in an ‘I knew you before you were born’, breathing life into your snotty
little baby nostrils kind of way. He created you like an artist creates a masterpiece.
He cares about you like a mother cares about her child. You’re not ‘just
another human’ to him, he knows your name, and he knows your face, and he knows
every single gift he planted in you. It seems insane but I’m convinced it’s
actually true.
I think that you –
like me, like everyone else – have run away from home. You’ve rejected God.
For you it is actually a more explicit conscious thing than for most people,
but you’ve done the same thing we all do in and of ourselves. We look at God –
the Infinite Creator, the Passionate Father, the All-worthy King – and we say,
‘I’ll make the decisions thanks.’ You’ve said, ‘I get that if you’re there then
logically I owe you everything, and I really ought to follow you, but that’s a
really profound commitment. I prefer being in charge of my own life. And I
don’t really feel like I need you.’ You’ve said that to God. Since the
Enlightenment we’ve been very good in the West at teaching ourselves to forget
that we are creatures. But the fact is, we are not gods. We are creatures and
He is the Creator and in reality any attempt to set ourselves up against him –
any stance towards him other than devotion and worship – is madness. It’s
suicidal.
I think that Jesus
died because of you, and for your sake. Against all probability, against
all good sense, in the middle of our silent rebellion, in the face of our quiet
hatred, this Creator came as a man and let us beat him, and spit at him, and
kill him, in order to make a way for us to come back to him. It’s insane but he
has loved us to death, even before we’ve done anything other than reject and
ignore him. And right now, somehow, you are able to look – through the smoked
glass of uncertainty and a bit of apathy – at the Son of God himself, nailed to
a piece of wood and bleeding to death, crying out ‘Father, forgive them’; and
decide that you’re not particularly interested in it. Let me be clear, here, I
actually believe that if there had been no other human on earth to die for,
Jesus would have died purely to offer you
redemption, he cares about you that much, and right now you are shrugging and
walking away.
I think that you,
as a human being, created and loved by God, have the capacity to share in
Jesus’ resurrection. He actually came back from the dead and said you can
come with him and I mean that in two ways:
First, I mean right
now. I mean this world, this life. God is at work putting the world to
rights. Redeeming, restoring, healing brokenness and fighting injustice and
putting the pieces of this smashed up world back together into a mosaic that
glimmers with eternal beauty. And he’s doing it through real life,
unimpressive, flesh and blood people who have trusted Jesus and are being
filled with the same Spirit that raised him from the dead. He said he has come
to give us “life, and life to the full” and he calls us to be so much more
truly human than we even realise is possible right now. He’s inviting you into
that. He’s inviting you to make a difference that will genuinely last forever.
He’s inviting you to live a life of love – of selfless, sacrificial, servant
love – and discover in it a joy and a peace that the world can never give, and
the world can never take away.
And then I mean that life overflowing into forever, when God completely recreates and
restores heaven and earth and he is inviting you to be part of that perfect
creation forever. And I know that’s hard to actually conceive of – because I
find it hard myself. But if an arts student can learn anything from serious
physics it’s that just because I can’t wrap my head around something doesn’t
mean for a second that it’s not utterly real. I’m not going to try and describe
it to you, but I can tell you that I’ve only been properly learning to love
Jesus for 6ish years, but already my excitement and longing at the thought of
seeing him face to face is growing pretty strong. There is nothing truly good
about this world that it won’t be, and better than it all he will be with us,
close enough to wipe the tears from our eyes.
But right now, instead of accepting that life, that
smashed-through-death life, that once-was-lost-but-now-I’m-found life, you’re
settling for less – for so much infinitely less.
There’s a bit in the Bible where – as so often – the
people have forgotten God and decided they’d be better off without him, and God
says,
“My people have committed two sins:
“My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken
me, the spring of living water,
and have dug their
own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
CS Lewis put it like this:
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too
strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink
and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child
who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is
meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
And so two things scare me right now.
One is that you’re on course to waste your life. You
might do amazing things, you might not. But either way, you were created to
love God and be part of the eternal work he’s doing restoring this world, and
while as it is you might stumble into being part of it for a moment, without
him you’ll miss the point entirely. The point for which he knit you together in
your mum’s womb. You are brilliant. You are so blatantly bursting with
abilities and gifts and you are unique and you are creative and you have the
capacity for deep love. Please don’t waste your life.
The second thing that scares me is that right now, as far
as I can see, you’re on the wrong side of Jesus’ warnings about eternity. I
know it’s uncomfortable, but I’m trying to show you what this is like through
my eyes, and this is a big part of why it’s so painful for me – I believe in
hell. I don’t know exactly what it means, what it will be like, but Jesus again
and again warned people, and talked about darkness and fire, and weeping and
gnashing of teeth. As much as I wish I could find a way to explain it away, I’m
convinced that whatever he means by that imagery he doesn’t mean that you
shouldn’t worry yourself too much about it. I worry about it.
That’s what I believe about your life. Infinite
potential. Insanely loved by God. Offered real life, to the full, now and
forever. But right now, walking calmly towards eternal death.
And I know you said you’ve ‘tried’ this stuff before, but
it’s impossible to ‘try’, really, because what Jesus asks is for you to ‘turn
and trust’ like I explained before.
And you can’t experiment with turning around completely and throwing yourself
on Jesus. I remember someone telling me about going skydiving once – they make
you sit on the edge with your feet dangling out, and you’re only allowed one
buttock in the plane, and then they count down and say ‘jump’, and you just
have to jump. You can’t half jump out of a plane. You can’t half follow Jesus.
And you know that, I think.
But here’s the thing, that doesn’t mean you need to make
a blind leap of faith. That means you need to put every effort in to actually work
out for certain whether you trust the parachute. (Please forgive me for the
fact that a parachute is a really rubbish metaphor for the all-consuming
richness and brilliance of Jesus…) So this is me half daring and half begging
you: think about it again, look at it again. Read Luke’s gospel and ask
yourself, ‘What if this were true?’ Investigate the evidence, hear out the
arguments on both sides. Get serious about this. Don’t you dare spend your life
with one buttock in the plane. Use your brain, engage your heart, think through
what it would look like in practice. I’m always keen to talk – so so keen – and
I’m always up for pointing you in the direction of any resources you need on
whatever topic. I would cut my arm off if it would help.
But it wouldn’t. Cos it’s up to you.
Love,
Mike