An Unexpected Metaphor

Two delightfully surprising things have happened to me this week – and it turns out one is a metaphor for the other. Which, as an English Lit student, I find rather pleasing.

I say two things, but in truth there have been many delightful things this week because Rachael came to visit. While I’d love to take up hours of your life with witty prose on the multiplicity of entertaining escapades and, lets be honest, packets of biscuits that made up our time together, I will restrain myself and only mention one little thing. Rachael does a thing occasionally, * SOPPY ALERT * * SOPPY ALERT * where she says ‘thank you’ to me for being lovely. And this is a uniquely wonderful thing. Unique because those ‘thank you’s are ones that no part of me is asking for. It’s not like when I get someone a present that I think is a goodun, and as soon as I choose it I’m looking forward to the gratitude they will no doubt display; or when I hoovered my room before she came and was so proud of it that I told all my friends, then her when she arrived, (and now anyone that reads this as well…) in the hope of people being impressed at my good-boyfriendness! The alleged ‘loveliness’ that I have displayed in these moments is not something I do because I think I should. It’s not something I do because I’ve been told its what good boyfriends do, or because I think Rachael will be grateful for it and think I’m great. The best times are when I’ve done something simply because * SOPPY ALERT * I love her and it is a joy to be kind to her. It’s what I want to do. And then she thanks me and I think – what? And I say ‘it’s a pleasure’ and I actually mean it. It’s an honour. It’s what I want to do.

So in technical terminology that was the ‘vehicle’, and now for the ‘tenor’. That was the metaphor, and this is the thing it’s a metaphor for. If that makes sense.

Just now I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Which again, was lovely in itself but I won’t waste your time. And at the end I just asked him to pray for me, because I realised that recently I’ve been reading this awesome book * ADVERT ALERT * (‘The Cost of Discipleship’ – Dietrich Bonhoeffer – EPIC) and it’s talking about how brilliant it is to obey Jesus. To do what he wants. How letting us obey him is actually awesome kindness from him. But anyway, it’s making me dead keen to know what he wants me to do – for him to tell me to do something so I can obey him. This probably sounds quite strange but bare with, bare with. I told Andy this and asked if he could pray for me to sort of realise or hear what Jesus wants me to do. And then he said,
“Well, I think to be honest brother, what you’ve been talking about, just loving people and being with them and telling them about Jesus, I think that’s the thing.”

And I thought, ‘Oh’. 

I thought, ‘Good point’.

I thought, ‘Well yeah, this week we started an Alpha course and chatted about Jesus and that was amazing and I really got to know people and I loved it. And all the way through the last few weeks I’ve been getting to know awesome people, and I’ve had so many beautiful conversations about Jesus and how beautiful he is, and exciting things are happening in my friends lives,  and… so on and so forth...’ 

But the feeling was a lot like the feeling when Rachael thanks me for being lovely.

Talking to people about Jesus – whether other Christians or not – started out quite scary. I knew it was the right thing to do because God was way too good not to share, but I still had to really battle with myself to get the courage and actually say something. But without me noticing really, that’s changed. What started out as doing what He wanted me to do, is now just what I want to do. I was surprised when Andy said it because it doesn’t even feel like obedience any more. I talk to people about Jesus simply because I love Him and I love them. It’s just a joy. It is a genuine and constant delight. It is what I’m here for, sharing Jesus and his love has become genuinely the best bit of my life, * CLICHÉ ALERT * it’s what gets me out of bed in the morning.

So this is an unexpectedly marvellous thing about trying to do what Jesus wants. After a while, you find that, somehow, you want what he wants. And you do it. And it’s epic. And it feels like you were born for it because you were.

Some theologian once said: “If you love God, you can do what you want.” I think he was right.