Saturday 29 December 2012

Uninvited


Mr Jacob Israel was sitting at home. It was a good chair, he had always liked that chair – it had cost him but he loved it. And he had it set up just beside the wood-burner, so that on the long winter evenings he could sit comfortably on his chair, in the warmth of the fire. Sometimes he would have a sense of gratitude – of oh my, this is the life, how did I come to be so gloriously comfortable? – but quickly he would answer himself, he had slaved away at the factory for hour after tedious hour to get here. Oh, he had made sacrifices for this alright. All those years on the factory floor – the dripping fat, the thick, sickening haze of scenthe remembered once dropping his wallet into pool of liquid fat. Soaked right through. Saturated – like a Big Mac. But he was passed all that now - the big break-through had been when the regional manager had come round for lunch. Jo Malone cane-sugar fragrance, Marks and Spencer’s canapés, and he had cooked that roast lamb to perfection. Of course Malorie would have done it better. But - it had worked. No more slaving for him anymore. And now the next step was coming – the new boss was bringing his wife round for dinner on Sunday. It could be a big moment – Mr Mammonson was a pretty powerful man.

Jacob was roused from his reverie by a knock at the door. A wave of panic ran through him as he half imagined that Sunday had come already and it was Mr Mammonson. Hurriedly he shook himself into alertness, realised that it was still Friday night, crossed the room, and opened the door with a tired smile on his face. The smile disappeared at the sight of the man on the doormat. He was, well, he just wasn’t quite what you expected. It certainly wasn’t Mr Mammonson. This man looked poor – at first Jacob struggled to pick out a reason for this – but he thought perhaps it was all the scratches and scars on the man’s skin, or the strange simplicity of his clothing. Nevertheless the man was looking at him. He had a truly arresting gaze; Jacob was a little disconcerted by the affection he saw in those eyes, and there was something else in them that worried him which he couldn’t put a finger on.

He realised they had been standing looking at one another in silence for an inappropriate length of time. He said, rather more sharply than he’d intended, “What do you want?”

The strange man’s brow furrowed slightly and he asked, “Did you not call for me?”

“No I didn’t! I don’t even know who you are!”

“Well yes,” said the man, “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

And he came in and sat down on the floor opposite Jacob’s chair. Jacob, surprised and feeling slightly threatened, walked over towards the man and the fire, trying to look taller than he was. Somehow the man looked taller now he was sitting on the floor. Another thing that worried Jacob.

After a short pause in which Jacob tried, and failed to think of anything to say, the man spoke again.

“It is not upon me that you have called, Jacob, rather you have tired of me, Israel. Not to me have you brought lambs as your burnt offerings, and with your sacrifices you have not honoured me.”

“What? Of course I haven’t... Why would make sacrifices for you?”

“Indeed. I did not make slave of you through offerings, nor tire you out through incense. Not for me did you buy fragrant cane at a price, and with the fat of your sacrifices you have not saturated me.”

“Wait, how did you know...”

Jacob’s voice trailed off into silence as the man got up and walked towards him. Jacob opened his mouth to speak and almost raised a hand but before he could react the man stopped and knelt down at his feet.

“You have, however, made a slave of me by your sins, tired me out by your iniquities.”

Jacob looked at him, motionless. “Who are you?” he asked.

“I – I am the one who wipes clean your rebellions, for my own sake, and your sins I do not remember.”

There was a pause, as the man waited for Jacob to reluctantly meet his gaze. Then, looking up at him from the floor with that same arresting gaze he said,

“Remind me.”

“Sorry?”

“Let us reach a judgement together. Give an account of yourself so that you may be acquitted.”

Jacob felt a strange sense of compulsion, of necessity, and he found himself asking, “Where should I begin?”

“Where did it begin?”

And he knew where it began. So he began to speak, and suddenly words were tumbling forth like a torrent – half confession, half justification, he complained and explained and told him everything until he began to weep, like a little child.

“Jacob.”

At the sound of his name he fell onto his knees in front of the man and grabbed him by the shoulders. He started shaking him and quickly the man reached out, took hold of him, and the two men began to wrestle. They struggled intensely – sometimes staggering across the room, sometimes opposing each other so fiercely and so evenly that they were almost completely still. As they stood, locked in this shuddering embrace the man suddenly freed his right hand from Jacob’s grip and tapped him lightly on the hip. Jacob let out a guttural roar of pain and anguish and crumpled over as he felt his hip wrenched from its socket. He staggered forward, grimacing and grunting and clung to the man once more, almost bent double by the agony.

“Let go of me.”

Through gritted teeth Jacob replied “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

“What is your name?”

“Jacob.”

“No. Your name is Israel. It means, ‘One who wrestles with God’.”

Israel looked confused, uncertain. “Please. What is your name?”

“Why do you ask my name?”

Israel did not answer. Instead there was a long pause as the two men looked at one another. Breaking the stillness the man took a deep breath in and out, a sigh, somewhere between sorrow and satisfaction.  Then he answered,

“I, I am the one who wipes clean your rebellions, for my own sake, and your sins I do not remember.”

Monday 10 December 2012

The World is a Mess


The world is a mess.

Of course it is.

Two artists, fathers, Colin and Joshua, both want something to put up to decorate the hallway in their houses – and as artists, they both decide to do it themselves.

Colin sits down in his studio and begins to paint. He works hard and carefully, and his technique is flawless. Every curve is perfect, every colour precisely lifelike and every shadow sharp and real. He sits back and smiles, the perfect painting. He carries it inside and hangs it in the house – his children gather round and admire his work – they compliment him warmly, they are all very impressed, and very proud to have such a talented artist for a father, very pleased to have such a beautiful painting in their house.

Joshua sits down and thinks for a moment. Then he walks to the easel, lifts off the canvas, and puts it down on the floor of his shed. Then he gets out three palettes and fills them with all sorts of brilliant colours. He mixes blues and greens and violets and oranges, and each of the colours is different, and each of them is marvellous. And once he has done this, he walks out of his shed, through the garden, and up to the house. He calls his children, and invites them to follow him back to Daddy’s painting shed. Then he gives them each their own palette of colours and one of his brushes, and says, “Go on, paint! Paint whatever you like – I want it to be beautiful”. And he watches them set to it with glee. Sometimes he crouches down to give them advice, or guide their hand into something especially wonderful. After a while he stops just watching, mixes some colours of his own and kneels down beside them to join in. He sees what they are doing and he adds to it, he reflects it, he draws what they are doing together into one painting with incredible skill – picking the perfect colours and shapes to combine the work of his children. And soon enough the canvas is completely full, and they all step back and look at their work. They can all see that it’s not perfect. The older brother scowls at his siblings when he sees the splodges and blobs they’ve put on by accident, and his sister almost starts to cry when she realises that she’s nearly ruined a whole corner by trying something far more complicated than she could really manage. They all agree that it’s a mess. But as they look at it they all start to say that they think perhaps it is a good mess. Joshua tells them that he thinks it is glorious. They all smile, even though they’re not entirely sure what that means! Then he tells them all to help him carry it inside, and they take it in and hang it up. And every one of them feels very proud indeed that he wanted to put up their painting. And he gives each of them a big hug and tells them that he’s proud of them.

But somehow none of them feels like they are quite finished. And after a while the oldest brother looks at his father and says, “Daddy, couldn’t you try again? You could take all the good bits from what we’ve done but start again and do it without all the mess! Maybe we could even help, if you showed us what to do?” Their hearts all leapt up in their chests – that was a very exciting suggestion indeed!

And Joshua looked at them all and smiled his very biggest smile – it was their favourite smile.

“Son,” he said, “that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

So here's the question: which is the better painting?
Who is the better artist?
And who would you rather have for a father?