A Poem Full of Instructions to My Big Bro and His New Wife

A couple of months ago, my brother got married to Rose, and it was a really joyful, beautiful, God-filled day! They very kindly invited me to write a poem for them and trusted me to read it at the reception... 'twas a bold move. But here's what I wrote.

Grace – On the occasion of the marriage of Andrew Colin and Rose Elizabeth

Love her, brother, like you are loved.
Love her gritty
Love her glorious
Love her patiently
Love her way too deep for wrinkled years and furrowed brows ever to reach
Love her lavishly
Love her like you'd walk five thousand miles
love her like, if the situation called for it,
you would amputate a limb
just to make her smile
and be glad to do it.
Love her joyfully,
Love her when the only way to say it is a cup of tea,
Love her when there’s something broken she needs you to see,
love her gritty
love her glorious,
Love her relentlessly.

Love him, Rose, like you are loved.
Love him gritty
love him glorious
love him patiently...
because patience will be necessary.
Love him when just can't think of anything to say
and love him the other 99% of the time.
Love him in the sunsets
and in the pouring rain,
love him in the long walks
and in the snatched five-minute breaks,
Love him when he's stupid
and love him when he's stressed,
love him when they won't let him on news 24 anymore
because his hairline's more than a little past its best.
Love him when you feel you're getting bored of him
Love him when you feel you've been ignored again
because this is what grace does.
And then tell him to sit down and listen up
because this is what grace does too.

Love her when she's scared,

Love him when he's lonely, even though you're there,

Love her in the morning, before she is awake enough to love you back,

Love each other, for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
love when it hurts,
love until there's nothing left but trust
and ‘til you barely need a word for 'me'
because its always, always about 'us'.

Love each other like you are already loved -
with the love you had before you even met each other
that was already more than enough

Love her brother like the eternal lover,
who turned earth and heaven upside down
to come and find us now and forever;
who sat on hills and fields and fishing boats
and told us stories there in hopes
that we would not forget him.
Love her like the one who will not forget us.
Love her like the one who came fighting for his bride
and bled the water into blood-red wine for his own wedding feast,
Love her like the one that asked us, "Will you marry me?"
arms wide head bowed exposed for all the world to see,
Love her like the one who let them nail "I do" into his hands,
who slept his wedding night in the lonely quiet of the tomb;
love her like the True Bridegroom.
Love her like the one who rose,
to call our names
and whisper to us "Do not be afraid"
Love her like the one who'll never leave
never show up late
never abandon
never forsake
Love her like the one who knows your heart your thoughts your grimiest flaws
who’s there beside you every single day
and sees each time you throw his life away
in a careless word or a bitter laugh,
but who kneels down in front of you
morning after morning
and washes your feet in his hands
to make you clean.
Love her like him, brother
love her like him.

Love him, Rose, like him;
like the one who loves you when you're scared,
who loves you when you're lonely, even though he's there,
love him like the one who loved you every morning
before you ever thought to love him back,
Love him, Rose, like him.
For better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
Love him when it hurts,
Love him like the one who loves
until there's nothing left but trust,
Who barely needs a word for me
because his every breath he breathes for us.

So do not love each other with just this love –
love with his love,
because you will need it.
Because his love
is patient
and it is kind
It does not envy
it does not boast
it isn’t proud
it is not easily angered
and it keeps no record of wrongs;
It always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres
and it never fails.

So brother don't you dare love her as much as she deserves,
love her so much more.
Because you are only jars of clay
and you will crack and shatter every single day
but his grace makes mosaics.

Love each other till you see his face.
Love each other so the world can see right through
the brokenness of the two of you
to the glimmering of his grace.